If you've lost your hair invite a bald guy over

Even though my friends and family told me how beautiful I looked with no hair --- that I had a great-shaped head and should go bald all the time --- it didn’t seem to matter what they said. Whenever I looked in the mirror I saw an alien.

I decided that the only way I would feel better was to invite my bald friend, Norm, over because he might understand what I was going through. Norm started losing his hair at an early age and has been shaving his head ever since. When I first met him a few years ago at the Portland Art Museum I thought his shaved head looked sexy and exotic. Maybe he would think the same about mine.

Norm’s my buddy and we have a lot in common. We’re both techno-nerds and perfectionists with matching IQs and now, matching heads. Besides everything else he’s done for me, I know that I can always count on him for a good laugh, and if ever I needed one, it was now.

Well, my idea worked. As soon as I opened the front door and saw him standing there with his bald head and big grin I felt better already. Two glasses of wine later we were cracking up laughing as we compared our shiny domes in the mirror. One noticeable difference was our head size. Was his head really big or was mine just small? If we were seen in public together people might think we had been cast in a sci-fi movie.

The important thing is, he made me feel normal again. He was kind, loving and funny and he told me that my bald head was beautiful --- that I looked great with no hair. Yes, I know it was the same thing my family and friends told me, but it sounded different coming from him (one baldy to another).

So my advice is, if you’re feeling a little depressed because you’ve lost all of your hair due to chemotherapy, invite a bald person to dinner. I promise it will cheer you up.

Delay breast cancer surgery until after your high school reunion

Cheryl & Butch - High School Dance  Cheryl & Butch -  High School Reunion

When my surgeon gave me the option of a lumpectomy with radiation or a mastectomy I chose the lumpectomy because I wanted to preserve as much of my petite-size breast as possible, plus she said that the survival rate was the same for a lumpectomy with radiation or a mastectomy. She also told me that even though the tumor was located just under the nipple, she thought she could save the nipple and areola or at least try.

Since I didn’t really know how much of my breast would be taken during surgery or what the healing time would be, I asked her if I could delay the surgery until after my upcoming high school reunion. I didn’t want to go to my reunion with a tender unhealed breast or no breast. My surgeon said, “Go and enjoy yourself. The cancer took 7-15 years to grow, so waiting 2-3 weeks isn’t going to make any difference at all.”

After making him swear to secrecy I told my friend and former high school admirer, Butch, that I had breast cancer and that I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it to our class reunion. I told him that if I went to the reunion I didn’t want former classmates pointing at me and whispering to each other, “Did you know that Cheryl has breast cancer?” or coming up to me with pity in their eyes saying, “I’m so sorry to hear about your breast cancer.” Or worse yet, that the men who used to have boyhood crushes on me would recoil in repulsion and ignore me the whole evening. Well, Butch talked me into going to the reunion. He said that people would be disappointed if I didn’t go and that I needed to have some fun.

So I flew to Long Beach and couldn’t wait to see my old friends, knowing that my secret would be safe. Later at the reunion dinner-dance when members of my former high school click singled out some of the others we went to school with and said with pity in their voices, “Did you know that Gerry R. and Tom J. both had knee replacement surgery 3 months ago and that Tom’s wife had breast cancer last year? And look at Sue W. She has MS and we thought she was going to die 5 years ago --- even made her a farewell video, but she’s still here and doing better now than she was at the last reunion … and poor Ray N. had a heart attack and died and Chuck H. had a heart attack too, but was luckier than Ray and is still with us. And….oh, did you hear that Geri D. and Terri A. both died from breast cancer? Who would have thought that would happen. They were both so beautiful.” I joined in with pity and shock in my voice, “Really? How awful!” There was no way that I was going to be put in the same category with the unfortunate and unlucky ones --- the ‘other’ ones. Yes, my secret would remain with me for the next two days---and with Butch, of course. Thanks, Butch. I had a great time at the reunion and didn’t even think about the future. It was too much fun remembering the past.

My advice to breast cancer patients is to do something fun and exciting before your treatment starts because you won’t be able to enjoy yourself for months to come. In fact, it may be the last time you’ll feel normal, so celebrate the moment and don’t worry about the future.

Use a lint remover roller to test for chemotherapy hair loss

Not quite sure if you’re losing your hair yet? One way to find out is to use a masking tape lint remover roller on your head. If you end up with hair on the sticky side of the tape, most likely you’re losing your hair.

A couple of weeks after my buzz job I mentioned to my sister, Diane, that I didn’t think my hair had started falling out yet because I hadn’t seen any short hairs on my pillow or clothing. I told her that maybe I should use some scotch tape on my head and see if any hair comes out on the sticky side of the tape. She said, “Why don’t you use a lint remover instead? It would be easier and faster.” What a great idea! I got out my masking tape lint remover roller and began rolling it all over my stubbles. Guess what? There were short hairs all over the tape. Then I became obsessed with removing all of the hair that I could, so for the next half-hour and 20 strips of masking tape later I ran the roller over my head, each time pulling out more stubble. Then I began to worry that my hair may not grow back at all if I continued pulling it out by the roots, so I put the roller back in the drawer. This ended up not to be true, in fact my hair grew back thicker after chemotherapy.

There might be other ways to determine whether or not you’re losing your hair, but the above method worked for me. If you have another process that worked for you, please share it.