When I arrived at the Conference I considered substituting that session for Long-Term Side Effects of Chemotherapy and Radiation because I thought the one on Intimacy wasn’t applicable since 1) I currently don’t have a partner and 2) I really don’t care if I have sex.
But I attended anyway and I’m glad that I did. Dana Rowett, speaker, and co-author of the book, Intimacy After Cancer: A Woman's Guide
was both informative and humorous.Ms. Rowett talked mostly about how to communicate with your partner before you have sex, which positions are best, and how to increase your libido and your energy so that you’ll enjoy sex more.
She also stressed the importance of “using it or losing it.” We all know that sex keeps us young. Besides being fun and great exercise, it gets the hormones flowing, which is good for our skin, hair and muscle tone. And it prevents vaginal atrophy (yikes). For those of us who have had chemotherapy (me), or radiation to the cervix or vagina (not me), Ms. Rowett suggested using vaginal dilators if our vaginas have decreased in diameter. I know what the men are thinking right about now, “Hey, but wait a minute…”
The truth is that sex after breast cancer treatment can be very painful (hopefully I’ll get a chance to find out) because the vaginal tissue is thinner and can easily tear if not properly lubed, and the vagina might be too small to accommodate anything larger than a piece of cooked spaghetti. Darn! I just gave away all of my pasta last week when I started my low-fat diet. Anyway, Ms. Rowett said that the dilators help prepare you for sex, should the desire ever return. Well, I certainly wanted to be ready, just in case.
With a big smile on my face, I walked out of the room at the end of the session waving my free samples of Astroglide and Replens-- ready to take on the world (well, maybe not the whole world).
During the break, my first stop in the breast cancer exhibit hall was the sex toy booth, followed by the fly-fishing booth. The toy rep showed me the dilator kit, which cost $99.00 and included 6 different sizes in six different colors. I told her that I wasn’t really interested in the extra-mini-size or the elephant-size— that one in a medium size would probably be fine. Then I asked her how I would know if my vagina had decreased in size since I hadn’t had sex in a while and didn’t have any prospects to test drive it. She said, “Let me show you my Intimate Collection Party Catalog.” After not too much thought, I decided to throw my fate to the wind—to leave it once again to chance. I will just wait until the right person comes along and see what happens.
I left the booth empty-handed, but not entirely disappointed.
I ended up registering for a fly-fishing trip to Central Oregon. It’s been almost 13 years since I’ve used my fly rod and gear. Hopefully, my Neoprene waders and felt-bottom boots haven’t split or dried out from lack of use.
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