When you start chemotherapy start a new job

When I first mentioned the idea to my oncologist, Dr. Leimert, he was not very pleased and had some difficulty understanding why I would want to do something that could possibly cause me more stress than I was currently going through. He said that most people quit their jobs or take a leave of absence when they start chemotherapy because it’s so stressful and uncomfortable. I told him that not having an income would be more stressful.

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer I spent every waking moment on my computer doing Google searches on everything from breast cancer treatments to breast reconstruction to areola tattooing. There was no way I could concentrate on running two businesses, but I knew that I had to do something to take my mind off the breast cancer and my obsessive Googling, so I thought, why not work for someone else?

After stocking up on healthy food from Trader Joes I stopped next door at Norwalk Furniture and asked the manager if he was doing any hiring and he said, “As a matter of fact, I am.” So I filled out an application and told him that I had no experience in retail, had never designed a home (except my own), but that I did have an art background and had worked as a draftsman for two years, and that I had very good taste (at least I like to think so) and a strong sense of design and that my friends even asked me for advice on how to decorate their homes.

He gave me a pencil and paper, a room template, some furniture cutouts, pointed me toward the fabric displays and said, “Okay, design a living room and then pitch your ideas to me.” He hired me on the spot.

And so against the advice of Dr. Leimert, I started my new job the day after my first chemotherapy treatment.

During the four months that I worked for Norwalk I managed to look and act halfway normal. In fact nobody knew that I was undergoing chemotherapy treatments until the last two weeks. Whenever I felt nausea coming on I popped some anti-nausea pills. My co-workers thought I was dieting. And the wigs I wore fit in perfectly with my new designer role. I looked fashionable --- artsy and trendy --- and my customers were always complimenting me on my hairstyle.

It wasn’t always easy. Sometime in snowy January I came down with pneumonia and was confined to my apartment for ten days so that I wouldn’t be exposed to any other disease, and also to prevent spreading the pneumonia to others. It was a long ten days. I watched OPB and Oprah and read novels and did crossword puzzles and started Google searches on breast cancer again. The only contact I had with the outside world was when my brother, Mark, left bags of groceries on my front porch. He rang the doorbell, but managed to get halfway down the sidewalk by the time I opened the door.

During the second two months of chemo I was given infusions of Taxol, which didn’t produce nausea, but did make my body ache during 5-8 days after the treatment. On the fifth day following my first Taxol treatment I could barely get out of bed. My whole body ached, like I had the flu. I took a pain pill and stayed on the sofa all day watching old Clint Eastwood movies.

I managed to hang on to the job until my last day of chemo when the manager let me go because “it wasn’t a good match.”

The main point is that the new job helped get me through chemotherapy with relatively little discomfort. Even though I didn’t feel great some days, I always had to act like I felt fine so that others wouldn’t know what I was going through. Learning a new job forced me to focus on something besides the breast cancer and I really enjoyed the work --- at least the design element.

My advice to others who are about to begin chemotherapy is, instead of moping around and feeling sorry for yourself during chemotherapy treatments, start a new job or take up a new hobby. You’ll be much better off focusing on something positive. Chemotherapy does not make you an invalid, so you don’t have to act like one. I know it’s tempting to let your friends and family baby you, but don’t let them. Instead, be an inspiration for others by taking charge of your life and by being strong. Do something you enjoy.

If you've lost your hair invite a bald guy over

Even though my friends and family told me how beautiful I looked with no hair --- that I had a great-shaped head and should go bald all the time --- it didn’t seem to matter what they said. Whenever I looked in the mirror I saw an alien.

I decided that the only way I would feel better was to invite my bald friend, Norm, over because he might understand what I was going through. Norm started losing his hair at an early age and has been shaving his head ever since. When I first met him a few years ago at the Portland Art Museum I thought his shaved head looked sexy and exotic. Maybe he would think the same about mine.

Norm’s my buddy and we have a lot in common. We’re both techno-nerds and perfectionists with matching IQs and now, matching heads. Besides everything else he’s done for me, I know that I can always count on him for a good laugh, and if ever I needed one, it was now.

Well, my idea worked. As soon as I opened the front door and saw him standing there with his bald head and big grin I felt better already. Two glasses of wine later we were cracking up laughing as we compared our shiny domes in the mirror. One noticeable difference was our head size. Was his head really big or was mine just small? If we were seen in public together people might think we had been cast in a sci-fi movie.

The important thing is, he made me feel normal again. He was kind, loving and funny and he told me that my bald head was beautiful --- that I looked great with no hair. Yes, I know it was the same thing my family and friends told me, but it sounded different coming from him (one baldy to another).

So my advice is, if you’re feeling a little depressed because you’ve lost all of your hair due to chemotherapy, invite a bald person to dinner. I promise it will cheer you up.